Entry #1 - Nobody cares enough

2021-05-14

I have the ability to sound dramatic, so let me tell you my history in the most pathetic way I can imagine. Since I was born loneliness has been my only friend, because humanity is someone you cannot rely on, they lie, they’re selfish, they’re not trustworthy.

In my 26 years alive I haven’t trust enough someone to call it a “friend”, because the number of betrayals and disappointments has been enough to destroy any possibility for me to believe in this race of ours, even animals can be more trustful and they don’t think or feel the same way we do, but if you offer them what they need, they’ll be with you... I wish humans were as simple as cats, food and love and they’ll be always with you and even eat your body if you die, what a deal isn’t it?

I never liked school, the place made for molding young minds to become “someone” in the future, at least that’s what the propaganda says, what they don’t tell you is about the society that conforms this system, a cruel, negative and hateful experience that can destroy you if you’re not strong enough which in most cases, you’re not.

I wonder how many young kids and teens has ended they course in this world because of this complex ecosystem called school, because the younger you are, the most different you are from the rest and the easier is for others to notice those differences and being different in this mini world is like having a sign above your head saying “I deserve to suffer”.

Kids are kids they say, kids can be cruel they say, they don’t understand what they’re doing they say, I wonder how many years we will be saying this lie between us to not recognize our mistakes and our sins for not caring enough until it’s too late, nobody ever notice when a soul is so broken that is no longer reparable.

“I never notice he/she was feeling this sad; I didn’t know he/she was going through all that”, how many headstones should have those words engrave, how many terrible decisions could’ve been avoid if some just asked “how are you?”, if someone just asked “how are you doing?”, if someone just cared enough, if someone just cared.

Nobody cares until they have to wear those black clothes and go to a ceremony nobody wants to go and nobody enjoys, because it is not a ceremony to say goodbye or just remember good times with that person but a ceremony of inner guilt, a ceremony of hypocrisy, a ceremony to avoidable but that nobody cares enough to prevent it.

Nobody cares enough.